This column practically writes itself
White goods, zombies and an apostrophe catastrophe
Man-machine machine machine maaaa-chiiiiiiiin-errr
Possibly they were held up by highwaybots
Behind this mask I ask: Who do you love?
Ay, there's the rub
Didn't you know? You don't know you're born
Blow each other's heads off without going to jail
Those knobbly bits on the side of your phone? They’re ‘buttons’, matey
What you really want is a good Poop
Wipe goodbye to the flush-handle era
Tight-fit rubber and tape